Tuesday, February 28, 2017

The Bannonites

The Bannonites: Members of a radical religious sect known for its devotion to shitheads and its active promotion of an attitude of general shittiness towards others, especially Muslims and Jews. The sect was founded in the early 21st century by a shadowy figure known simply as Bannon the Stiff whose own origins remain a mystery to date – a saga shrouded in shit and mediocrity despite the man's belief in his own necessity. In certain obscure texts attributed to the sect, Bannon is said to have been born in an outhouse in the town of Shitswhatswecallit on the western banks of the Pussyssippi River. The sect has recently gone global and has cultivated grassroots following in many European countries especially France where its followers are known as Lepentomimes, and the UK where they are known as the Wily Faragers.

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