Wednesday, March 22, 2017

The Tap & Hack

(The) Tap & Hack: 1) A traditional Russian folkdance characterized by energetic feet-shuffling, hand-wringing and pelvis-thrusts interspersed by pauses of loud ululation meant to awake the old Kievan god, Da┼żbog, a known heavy-sleeper, in the hope that he can join the people in their ongoing battle against the PoorPutin. 2) A political maneuver that involves doubling down on an already bad bet in the hope of enticing opponents to do the same thus drowning all in shit and obscuring culpability. 3) The name of a famous bar near Dupont Circle in Washington D.C. often frequented by White House staffers, Washingtonian policy experts and diplomats. 4) A sexual position favored by the more energetic types and often considered to be a mild form of S&M.


Sunday, March 19, 2017

The Merkeling

The Merkeling: An old German pickling process involving pigs shit and stale beer. Although the end product, the Merkelkraut, was only meant to be used as animal feed booster during food shortages, and never for human consumption, certain restaurants catering to the rich and infamous are known to often feature it as a special delicacy. Indeed, in the United States, the Trump family seems to have a monopoly on Merkelkraut distribution and it is often found on the menus of Trump-owned restaurants. In political parlance, the term refers to letting certain decrepit political figure stew in their own fetid juices until the moment comes and they are unceremoniously dumped into that old dustbin of history. The invention of the Merkelkraut is attributed to a distant ancestor of German Chancellor, Angela Merkel. Helmut Merkel is considered a German folk hero and is often publicly toasted during Oktoberfest, seeing that his invention has often helped German farmers stay afloat during economic hard times. It’s the rise of Mrs. Merkel as a public figure that gave the term Merkeling its modern political connotation. But, while Mrs. Merkel’s list of merkeled political foes keeps growing the Chancellor herself seems to have long adopted a rather “meh” attitude about the whole thing.

The Dutch Thing

(The) Dutch Thing: Doing the Dutch thing has recently become a synonym for doing the right and decent thing, like not rewarding a racist with a high government position despite increasing populist pressures. The saying entered popular Western discourse soon after a large majority of Dutch electors voted in favor of castrating the folk figure known as Orange Pete. Observers of Dutch politics hope that people there will soon decide to assign the other controversial Dutch folk figure known as Black Pete to the same dustbin of history seeing that the two Petes tend to play on the same racist sentiments. 

The RasDugin

(The) RasDugin: A Russian fairytale figure similar in some respects to Father Frost, except that he often appears dressed as a clown at national rallies commemorating the dying of innocence, reason and decency, where he gets to agitate the crowd with his popular refrain “Kill, Kill, Kill.”

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