H

Hate Crimes: Terrorist attacks perpetrated by white Christian individuals and groups. Also see Terrorist Attacks.

(The) Hershy Tar: A special kind of odorous tar that comes out of the mouth of those afflicted by the Seymour Hersh Disease (SHD), a rare ailment to which certain narcissists who were once famous but are no longer relevant or in full possession of their faculties succumb. Symptoms include obsessive commitment to tarnishing truths and inventing facts coupled with over-reliance on the kind of “trustworthy” sources that can always be relied upon to come up with the convenient lies. The “trustworthy” lies can then be deployed by the afflicted for the purpose of constructing new conspiracy theories that can help them retrieve their long lost relevance all while maintaining an aura of independence and, even, anti-establishmentarianism, which, in turn, could help them maintain credibility with members of the International Left. Although, there is no known cure for SHD, one of the most effective methods for controlling its symptoms requires for the afflicted to gather enough of their ownHershy Tar to actually tar and feather themselves repeatedly over a period of 2-3 months every year. The science behind the correlation is not known, but scientists hope that once they understand it, they will be able to find a cure. 

High Decibel Whisperers: The only type of advisers that seem able to reach populist leaders with large egos and small hands. Their ability to shout their whispers and keep their thoughts ever so close to the edge of insanity enable them to break through their targets’ ego barriers, those invisible defenses that populist leaders erect around themselves in order to protect themselves from prolonged exposure to the humanity of others. (Also see Jonesing)

"The HOHOR. The HOHOR."

(The) Holy Heavenly Orb of Riyadh (AKA the HOHOR): One of the lesser known holy relics of Islam, the HOHOR is second in significance only to the Black Stone found at the corner of the Kaabah. But, while Muslims are required to make the pilgrimage to Mecca and kiss the Black Stone at least once in their lifetime, only a handful of people are called upon to touch the HOHOR. Failure to do so on a regular basis is said to result in dire consequences for all humanity, though no one can tell what these consequences are since no one has so far failed to regularly touch the HOHOR. It’s simply too enchanting. Conspiracy theorists who believe the HOHOR to be an alien artifact postulate that failure to touch the HOHOR could result in the formation of a mini black hole that could nonetheless suck in all of Earth if not the entire Solar System. For this reason many of them believe that the HOHOR is better kept under direct US or UN supervision. Saudi authorities, however, who consider themselves to be the official Guardians of the HOHOR, oppose such move saying that, in addition to being blasphemous, it represents a form of cultural appropriation; besides, they add, only Muslims can actually touch the HOHOR. The fact that U.S. President Donald Trump was allowed to touch the HOHOR during his visit to Saudi Arabia, they assert, proves that he is just another one of those secret American Muslims who have managed to maneuver their way into the White House. Indeed, there is a long list of such Muslims, we are told, all of whom allegedly belong to an old secret society known as the Order of the Orb (OOO) that has been running the United States since its birth. Conspiracy theories about Zionists, Free Masons, the Skulls and Bones Society and, more recently, the Muslim Brotherhood, are intentionally spread by members of the OOO in order to distract public attention from their existence. Ceremonies involving the HOHOR are usually held in secret, except during times of impending doom.

(The) Huddle & Mull: 1) A delay tactic favored by many politicians in democratic and democratizing societies. The tactic is usually meant to give the electorate the impression is something is being seriously considered, where in fact nothing is being done due to strong ideological stands, diverging interests or because everyone is clueless.

2) A well-known and historic American coffeehouse chain that has its start shortly after Washington D.C. was made the capital of the United States. The original branch is still present and is often frequented by members of the U.S. government, from all three branches, due to its convenient location, history, gourmet yet affordable coffee and snacks, and its excellent collection of comic books and pulp fiction. Today, the chain has branches in most major cities around the world, except in Russia, China and Iran, among other autocratic states, where huddling, mulling and reading comics and pulps are considered to be signs of weakness, indecisiveness and frivolity, qualities that can never be associated with the ruling elite. Instead, local businessmen, with the right connections of course, started their own national chains that sought to imitate the look and feel of the Huddle & Mull, but with emphasis on strength and purposefulness as the names given to them indicate: The Czarmessiah (Russia), the Mahdi Hut (Iran) and 大無所不知無所不在然而，人之常情和最肯定的共產黨領導人，喜歡成功，所有的事情，讀讀經失敗和失敗 (Dà wú suǒ bùzhī wúsuǒbùzài rán'ér, rén zhī chángqíng hé zuì kěndìng de gòngchǎndǎng lǐngdǎo rén, xǐhuān chénggōng, suǒyǒu de shìqíng, dú dújīng shībài hé shībài), or The Great Omniscient Omnipresent Yet All Too Human and Most Definitely Communist Leader Who Likes Success In All Things And Frowns Upon Failure And The Failed (China).

Note: We should never confuse the Huddle & Mull with the Fisk & Cock.