F

Fantalize: See Fantalution.

Fantalution: A fantastical proposal offered as a solution to a real problem. Verb: to fantalize.

Farticle: An editorial or a news report written right after the author has experienced the equivalent of a brain fart – a bursting aneurism of hot air in the brain, itself the result of inhaling fecal gasses for too long. The phenomenon is also known as Brain Halitosis

Feardogan: According to Turkish mythology, the Feardogan is a ghoul who seeks to inspire fear in the people around him but ends up inspiring ridicule instead. His looks, his attitude and the way he takes himself seriously all combine to make him look ridiculous. And though a creature like him may not afford to look ridiculous, considering that lives in that infamously dangerous part of the jungle, Holybush, there is little that he can do about that. He keeps on trying, he keeps on failing. He keeps on flailing in anger and disappointment, and the world keeps on laughing.

Fienghouls: Mongrels resulting from the coupling of fiends and ghouls and are fetishized by Purdoganistas. (See “Purdogan”)

The Fisk&Cock Logo is known to inspire a certain je ne sais merde!

(The) Fisk & Cock: an international chain of British and British-style taverns reserved for the Lunatic Bunch from the Left, Right and Center in society. The chain was named chiefly in “honor” of well-known self-righteous pompous ideologues masquerading as journalists, Robert Fisk and Patrick Cockburn, and their favorite colleagues still high on some long forgotten and mostly hallucinated “accomplishments.” The Fisk & Cock is widely popular where the Huddle & Mull isn’t or is subject to a legal ban. In fact, in many liberty-challenged and justice-impaired states, including Russia, Iran and China, laws were introduced over the last decade obligating every town with a population totaling 5,000 and more to at least have one Fisk & Cock in operation near the town center, but preferably two. In practice, each such town now has 3-5 bustling F&Cs. The Fisk & Cock Inc. is currently administered by a special international shell NGO known as the Society of Fucking Lunatics & the Fucked-Up Lunatics Who Listen To Them, whose motto asks the cryptic yet important sounding question: are you fucking listening? Well, are you… punk?

Flexperts: A certain variety of experts known to be quite flexible when it comes to the definition of certain notions, such as facts… particularly facts. In the West, it is often easier to spot a rightwing flexpert than a leftwing one on account of the former’s shamelessness and the latter’s coyness and dexterity at subterfuge. Indeed, leftwing flexperts operating in Western societies have for long need to fall back on such an arcane practice as dissimulation, or taqiyyah as it is commonly known in Arabic, in order to survive and facilitate their penetration of the halls of academe. In autocratic societies, flexperts tend to be the only kind of “free” experts around. 

Freakionaire: A billionaire entrepreneur who languishes under the belief that the world owes him a moral debt and should recognize his genius.

Fuckyuroshka: A series of nesting Russian hopes and dreams ending with a middle finger whose top represents the smiling head of Russian Oligarch Vladdie the Pu, and the bottom the foolishness of those Russians still idolizing him.


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