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The JarKush: A marijuana blend so potent it will make consumers feel like they can achieve peace in the Middle East, an illusion which they will maintain right up until they end up shitting their pants. Despite this embarrassing side-effect, however, the Trump Administration, and contrary to its stand on the consumption of other types of marijuana, is said to have legalized the use of the JarKush through a secret Executive Order.


The Putinian element involved in jonesing is demonstrated
by a strong urge to go bare-chested.
Jonesing: In political parlance, “to jones” is to behave like Alex Jones, the current U.S. president’s high decibel whisperer, that is, like a complete unhinged psychopathic moron, only to end up advising the most powerful man in the world. Example 1: Mike just jonesed his way up in the world, man. Example 2: Way to jones, bro. Example 3: The U.S. President, Donald J. Trump, is said to be planning on jonesing his way into his Russian counterpart good favor in the hope of discovering firsthand what kind of bedfellows the two would make. Indeed, and the last example shows, a hidden putinian element seems to be involved in jonesing. In fact, some commentators have speculated that Mr. Alex Jones is actually nothing more than a Russian biological experiment gone haywire producing a crazier and fatter Vladimir Putin. Indeed, in some religious circles both in Russia and the U.S., Alex Jones to Vladimir Putin is now seen as representing what Fat Buddha is to Thin Buddha in Buddhist lore: a richer, crazier and, in this case, hairier avatar.



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