K

(A) Kaleidoscopic Fuck: A type of cluster fuck where the main actors, fuckers and fucked alike, come from diverse backgrounds, have different reasons for participation in the act, albeit consent is neither assumed nor necessary in this situation, and expect different outcomes from the experience.

(The) Kardashians: The post-post-modern Armenian-American version of Aeschylus' well known Greek tragedy: The Libation-Bearers. The line “Go through with the murder—innocent at last” comes especially to mind and seems to “bear” particular relevance to the times at hand.

(The) Kasich: A type of LASIK surgery that enables people to see the world in a spectrum ranging from bland to meh.

(The) Kellyanne Pose: A telebullshitting tactic consisting of a brief action that involves doing something seemingly irreverential and thoughtless but within the confines of a publicly hollowed space. Once this is done, then, thanks to the Twitterverse, what could have been seen as a simple innocuous action becomes a full-blown controversy, one that helps distract attention from the general fuckupness of certain policies and facts, if only momentarily and until a new Kellyanne Pose is struck. The tactic itself is only one part of an arsenal deployed by contemporary bullshitters who are at the heart of the Conway-Spicer Conundrum.

Kiss the Yak: In political circles, Kissing the Yak is treated as the equivalent of kissing the ring of one’s political overlords and benefactors, or any of their official representatives. Although the practice seems to have originated in Russia, it has recently been introduced into American policy circles as well, mainly thanks to the activities of Russia’s Ambassador, Sergey Ivanovich Kislyak. The practice is said to have originated in the gulags of Siberia in the late 19^th century before being officially approved by Stalin and incorporated as a standard practice by the KGB. In the Kremlin, a special Kiss the Yak ceremony is said to be held on a monthly basis with Putin’s ass now used as a substitute for the Yak. In doing this, Putin is said to be following in Stalin’s footsteps.

(The) Klanama Papers: A legal term used to refer to any set of documents that end up confirming what so many of us have long suspected regarding the shitty nature of the world and its inhabitants (Also see PoorPutin).

Kurdophobia: A mental illness characterized by existential delirium known to strike the political elite in Turkey, Iran, Iraq and Syria. The illness is often accompanied by high fever and a tendency to shoot oneself in the foot repeatedly while firing at unarmed Kurdish protesters, or dropping bombs or chemical weapons on Kurdish civilians.   

(The) KushBan Conspiracy: An endeavor spearheaded by certain members of the Trump Inner Circle to install a Deep State structure where none currently exists. To detract attention from their efforts, and in a cynical cooptation of a classic Russian disinformation tactic, the conspirators often speak of their continuous struggle against an illusory Deep State that is undermining the work of the Trump Administration.  

(The) Kush-Cohn Surprise: A new Ben & Jerry’s ice cream concoction made with a deep sense of cynical commitment to the same old bullshit, slightly camouflaged, and intended to celebrate the budding nepotist in you. “Grab them by their…taste buds.” So runs its commercial slogan.

(The) Kushner: A new type of cushioning devices originally designed to soften the blows of fate against one’s increasingly fragile ego and to help hide a certain dirty family secret. Having failed to live up to its original intent, however, the device is now used exclusively for decorative purposes, if ever.